How to Stop Worrying and Start Living
Dale Carnegie

Ended: July 6, 2012

“Anyone can carry his burden, however hard, until nightfall,” wrote Robert Louis Stevenson. “Anyone can do his work, however hard, for one day. Anyone can live sweetly, patiently, lovingly, purely, till the sun goes down. And this is all that life really means.”
“True peace of mind,” said this Chinese philosopher, “comes from accepting the worst. Psychologically, I think, it means a release of energy.”
When we have accepted the worst, we have nothing more to lose. And that automatically means—we have everything to gain!
RULE 1: IF YOU WANT TO AVOID WORRY, DO WHAT SIR WILLIAM OSLER DID: LIVE IN “DAY-TIGHT COMPARTMENTS.” DON’T STEW ABOUT THE FUTURE. JUST LIVE EACH DAY UNTIL BED-TIME. RULE 2: THE NEXT TIME TROUBLE—WITH A CAPITAL T—BACKS YOU UP IN A CORNER, TRY THE MAGIC FORMULA OF WILLIS H. CARRIER: a. Ask yourself, “What is the worst that can possibly happen if I can’t solve my problem?” b. Prepare yourself mentally to accept the worst—if necessary. c. Then calmly try to improve upon the worst— which you have already mentally agreed to accept. RULE 3: REMIND YOURSELF OF THE EXORBITANT PRICE YOU CAN PAY FOR WORRY IN TERMS OF YOUR HEALTH. “THOSE WHO DO NOT KNOW HOW TO FIGHT WORRY DIE YOUNG.”
Basic Techniques in Analyzing Worry RULE 1: GET THE FACTS. REMEMBER THAT DEAN HAWKES OF COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY SAID THAT “HALF THE WORRY IN THE WORLD IS CAUSED BY PEOPLE TRYING TO MAKE DECISIONS BEFORE THEY HAVE SUFFICIENT KNOWLEDGE ON WHICH TO BASE A DECISION.” RULE 2: AFTER CAREFULLY WEIGHING ALL THE FACTS, COME TO A DECISION. RULE 3: ONCE A DECISION IS CAREFULLY REACHED, ACT! GET BUSY CARRYING OUT YOUR DECISION—AND DISMISS ALL ANXIETY ABOUT THE OUTCOME. RULE 4: WHEN YOU, OR ANY OF YOUR ASSOCIATES, ARE TEMPTED TO WORRY ABOUT A PROBLEM, WRITE OUT AND ANSWER THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS: a. What is the problem? b. What is the cause of the problem? c. What are all possible solutions? d. What is the best solution?
Let’s not allow ourselves to be upset by small things we should despise and forget. Remember “Life is too short to be little.”
God grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can; And the wisdom to know the difference.
RULE 1: CROWD WORRY OUT OF YOUR MIND BY KEEPING BUSY. PLENTY OF ACTION IS ONE OF THE BEST THERAPIES EVER DEVISED FOR CURING “WIBBER GIBBERS.” RULE 2: DON’T FUSS ABOUT TRIFLES. DON’T PERMIT LITTLE THINGS—THE MERE TERMITES OF LIFE—TO RUIN YOUR HAPPINESS. RULE 3: USE THE LAW OF AVERAGES TO OUTLAW YOUR WORRIES. ASK YOURSELF: “WHAT ARE THE ODDS AGAINST THIS THING’S HAPPENING AT ALL?” RULE 4: CO-OPERATE WITH THE INEVITABLE. IF YOU KNOW A CIRCUMSTANCE IS BEYOND YOUR POWER TO CHANGE OR REVISE, SAY TO YOURSELF: “IT IS SO; IT CANNOT BE OTHERWISE.” RULE 5: PUT A “STOP LOSS” ORDER ON YOUR WORRIES. DECIDE JUST HOW MUCH ANXIETY A THING MAY BE WORTH—AND REFUSE TO GIVE IT ANYMORE. RULE 6: LET THE PAST BURY ITS DEAD. DON’T SAW SAWDUST.
Just For Today 1. Just for today I will be happy. This assumes that what Abraham Lincoln said is true, that “most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Happiness is from within; it is not a matter of externals. 2. Just for today I will try to adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will take my family, my business, and my luck as they come and fit myself to them. 3. Just for today I will take care of my body. I will exercise it, care for it, nourish it, not abuse it nor neglect it, so that it will be a perfect machine for my bidding. 4. Just for today I will try to strengthen my mind. I will learn something useful. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration. 5. Just for today I will exercise my soul in three ways; I will do somebody a good turn and not get found out. I will do at least two things I don’t want to do, as William James suggests, just for exercise. 6. Just for today I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress as becomingly as possible, talk low, act courteously, be liberal with praise, criticize not at all, nor find fault with anything and not try to regulate nor improve anyone. 7. Just for today I will try to live through this day only, not to tackle my whole life problem at once. I can do things for twelve hours that would appall me if I had to keep them up for a lifetime. 8. Just for today I will have a program. I will write down what I expect to do every hour. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it. It will eliminate two pests, hurrying and indecision. 9. Just for today I will have a quiet half-hour all by myself and relax. In this half-hour sometimes I will think of God, so as to get a little more perspective into my life. 10. Just for today I will be unafraid, especially I will not be afraid to be happy, to enjoy what is beautiful, to love, and to believe that those I love, love me.
Let’s do as General Eisenhower does: let’s never waste a minute thinking about people we don’t like.
It is natural for people to forget to be grateful; so, if we go around expecting gratitude, we are headed straight for a lot of heartaches.
Forget yourself by becoming interested in others. Every day do a good deed that will put a smile of joy on someone’s face.
Seven Ways to Cultivate a Mental Attitude That Will Bring You Peace and Happiness RULE 1: LET’S FILL OUR MINDS WITH THOUGHTS OF PEACE, COURAGE, HEALTH, AND HOPE, FOR “OUR LIFE IS WHAT OUR THOUGHTS MAKE IT.” RULE 2: LET’S NEVER TRY TO GET EVEN WITH OUR ENEMIES, BECAUSE IF WE DO WE WILL HURT OURSELVES FAR MORE THAN WE HURT THEM. LET’S DO AS GENERAL EISENHOWER DOES: LET’S NEVER WASTE A MINUTE THINKING ABOUT PEOPLE WE DON’T LIKE. RULE 3: A. INSTEAD OF WORRYING ABOUT INGRATITUDE, LET’S EXPECT IT. LET’S REMEMBER THAT JESUS HEALED TEN LEPERS IN ONE DAY—AND ONLY ONE THANKED HIM. WHY SHOULD WE EXPECT MORE GRATITUDE THAN JESUS GOT? B. LET’S REMEMBER THAT THE ONLY WAY TO FIND HAPPINESS IS NOT TO EXPECT GRATITUDE—BUT TO GIVE FOR THE JOY OF GIVING. C. LET’S REMEMBER THAT GRATITUDE IS A “CULTIVATED” TRAIT; SO IF WE WANT OUR CHILDREN TO BE GRATEFUL, WE MUST TRAIN THEM TO BE GRATEFUL. RULE 4: COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS—NOT YOUR TROUBLES! RULE 5: LET’S NOT IMITATE OTHERS. LET’S FIND OURSELVES AND BE OURSELVES, FOR “ENVY IS IGNORANCE” AND “IMITATION IS SUICIDE.” RULE 6: WHEN FATE HANDS US A LEMON, LET’S TRY TO MAKE A LEMONADE. RULE 7: LET’S FORGET OUR OWN UNHAPPINESS—BY TRYING TO CREATE A LITTLE HAPPINESS FOR OTHERS. “WHEN YOU ARE GOOD TO OTHERS, YOU ARE BEST TO YOURSELF.
If we hear that someone has spoken ill of us, let’s not try to defend ourselves. Every fool does that. Let’s be original—and humble—and brilliant! Let’s confound our critic and win applause for ourselves by saying: “If my critic had known about all my other faults, he would have criticized me much more severely than he did.”
Good Working Habit No. 1: Clear Your Desk of All Papers Except Those Relating to the Immediate Problem at Hand.
Good Working Habit No. 2: Do Things in the Order of Their importance.
Good Working Habit No. 3: When You Face a Problem, Solve It Then and There if You Have the Facts Necessary to Make a Decision. Don’t Keep Putting off Decisions.
Good Working Habit No. 4: Learn to Organize, Deputize, and Supervise.
RULE 4: APPLY THESE FOUR GOOD WORKING HABITS: a. Clear your desk of all papers except those relating to the immediate problem at hand. b. Do things in the order of their importance. c. When you face a problem, solve it then and there if you have the facts necessary to make a decision. d. Learn to organize, deputize, and supervise.